Marauders, Madness, and Magic
by Shira Lansys
Summary: A ficlet collection to parallel my 'Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem' drabbles. Can be read seperately. Once again, it will contain some RemusSirius, along with other pairings. Rated for some ficlets.
1. Jelly Beans

**Title: Jelly Beans  
>Based off: Chapter One of <strong>_**Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem**_**  
>Rating: K<br>Word Count: 681  
>Beta: ChronicxxInsanity<br>Authors Note: I've begun these ficlets because I really miss writing RemusSirius drabbles, and because there were many drabbles that people wanted more of or to know more about. This ficlet was requested by Silver Ardor Dragon.**

"This is going to end badly," Remus warned his friends from where he sat on his bed. It was a lovely summer Saturday; the birds were singing, a light cool breeze was blowing through the grounds, and the sun was warm and bright in the sky. Unfortunately for Remus, however, it had rained last night, so unless he wanted to get mud on his robes he was forced to endure the company of his charming but moronic friends while he indulged in a good book.

"You say that every time," Sirius informed the werewolf, not looking at him as he spoke. His eyes and wand were trained on James, who had his wand pointed at Sirius in return. "Besides, you're always saying we need to prepare more for exams. This _is _preparing for exams."

"No it isn't," Remus argued. "It's engaging in a duel. There's a difference."

"It's not a _duel_," James argued, as he circled the dorm warily. Remus was glad he'd put away his collection of Japanese waving cats. They were fascinating, but breakable. "We've agreed to no hexes, jinxes or curses. This is practically a tea-party."

Remus suddenly imagined James and Sirius in dresses, sitting at a too-small table surrounded by dolls and plastic cups. He had to banish the image before he laughed out loud – showing amusement was not helpful when you're supposed to be disapproving of your friend's activities.

"It still doesn't count as studying," he argued. James rolled his eyes.

"Fine, Moony, you win. Now shush, we're trying to concentrate."

"On the count of three, James?" Sirius asked. James grinned and nodded.

"One," they said together. Remus suddenly remembered what happened the last time they duelled each other, and he decided it would be a good idea if he erected a shield charm between him and the infamous duo.

"Two." It's a pity Pete wasn't here, Remus thought to himself. As much as he disapproved of this, he'd like to place a bet on Sirius. Peter would choose James out of loyalty, and Remus had a feeling that the rat wouldn't win this time.

"Three."

As soon as the word was said, a blinding light erupted from the end of James' wand. At exactly the same moment, a jet of blue shot from Sirius'.

Sometimes Remus wondered if it really was wise for teachers to teach students non-verbal spells. Sure, it would be useful in the real world, especially for those like Sirius and James who wanted to become aurors. But, at the same time, it made the students more dangerous (especially students like Sirius and James, who were prone to firing spells at other people).

James ducked, and Sirius cast a hasty shield charm. At least, Remus assumed it was a shield charm; it was hard to tell when they weren't verbally saying the incantations.

Sirius flicked his wand, and behind James Pete's jar of muggle jellybeans exploded, sending the colourful sweets flying everywhere like shrapnel from a grenade. Remus ducked as they shot towards him, but all that happened was some high-pitched pinging noises as they reverberated off his shield charm.

Sirius fired another spell, this time an orange one. And all of a sudden, James wasn't there.

Remus lowered the shield charm, looking around in confusion. "What did you do, Sirius? Vanish him?"

Sirius shook his head. "It was that spell we found last week, where you turn your opponent into whatever he was touching."

Remus whistled, impressed. Obviously Sirius had managed to do it, which Remus would have thought was well beyond him. It was transfiguration far more advanced than what they'd be taught at NEWT level. "So what'd you turn him into?" he asked curiously. "And do you know how to turn him back?"

"No idea," Sirius answered. "What was he touching when I fired the spell?" Remus didn't miss the fact that he deliberately ignored the second part of the question.

"Um, his wand," Remus suggested. "But there's his wand there, and there's only one. What else was he touching?"

Sirius paled. "He was touching the jelly beans."

**A/N(2): If you liked this, then I'd strongly suggest reading the original drabble, which can be found on my account. If you didn't like it, then it's probably because you didn't read the original drabble and I'd advise you to go and read it. It can be found on my account. **

**Please review!**


	2. Misteltoe

**Title: Mistletoe  
>(rather loosely) Based off: Chapter Forty Eight of <strong>_**Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem **_**  
>Rating: T<br>Word Count: 893  
>Beta: ChronicxxInsanity<br>Authors Note: Requested by DeadBattery88. I was going to write these in the order of their drabble number, but its Christmas and I completely ran out of time to write a proper Christmas fic, so now's as good a time as any. Also, if anyone still wants to request drabbles for me to turn into ficlets, it's not too late. Just message me any time up until I mark this story as 'Complete'. Merry Christmas everyone!**

* * *

><p>Even after the war was over, after Remus had lost everything he held most dear, he still loved Christmas. It was the one holiday where he could forget everything that had happened and remember his happiest years without pain. He smiled as he twirled the sprig of mistletoe between his fingers, huddled up with a thin blanket in a muggle bus shelter. Mistletoe had fast become his favourite plant since he started Hogwarts.<p>

Year One had gone something like this:

"_Lily, you have to kiss me." _

"_I think you'll find I don't," the girl answered coldly._

"_Yes you do," James wheedled. "We're under the mistletoe. And besides, it's Christmas. Would you really break my heart on Christmas?"_

"_Yes." _

"_Lily! Please!"_

"_If I kiss you, will you promise to never mention kissing to me again?"_

"_Cross my heart."_

_From behind him, Sirius snorted and Remus grinned. Somehow he doubted that one kiss would break James' persistence. Lily seemed to question this too, as she eyed him suspiciously. _

"_Fine. One kiss," she said. And then she did something Remus had to see with his own eyes to believe – she leaned over and pecked him lightly on the cheek. Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice, and Remus watched in amazement as Lily turned around and walked back to where her friends were sitting. _

_As James returned to where the rest of the Marauders were, he seemed to float. _

"_Sirius," James said, in trancelike tones. _

"_Yeah, mate?" _

"_I'm in love. I'm going to marry that girl."_

"_James, you're eleven," Remus pointed out. "And I don't think she feels the same way."_

"_Plenty of time to win her over, then." _

* * *

><p>Remus smiled with fondness at the memory. He hadn't believed James when he first said it, but he never should have doubted him.<p>

The Marauder's second Christmas had been overshadowed by the newfound information that Remus was a werewolf. While the other three hadn't been particularly concerned, Remus couldn't enjoy the season when he was too busy wondering when his friends were going to return to sanity and realise that their best friend was a monster.

The next five Christmases weren't all that memorable, but Remus did remember being unbelievably happy. It was such a contrast to how he'd felt ever since. Sometimes he wondered if he'd imagined it all.

It was Christmas in their seventh year that was Remus' favourite memory, however.

"_Remus?" _

_The werewolf looked up from his book in surprise. He hadn't expected anyone to come and find him. It was the end-of-term party in the Gryffindor Common Room, organised by James and Sirius of course, and Remus had found the noise and exuberance a bit too much. He was glad that everyone was happy, of course, but he wished they didn't have to be quite so loud about it. _

_He'd retreated to the empty charms classroom rather than go up to the dormitory where the noise could still be heard. He'd told no one he was leaving, so therefore he was extremely surprised to see nought point five of the party's organisational team leaning casually against the desk in front of him. _

"_Hullo, Padfoot," Remus said, with surprise. "Why aren't you at the party?" _

"_Came looking for you, didn't I? You never said you were leaving." _

"_It got a little loud, you know, with the full moon next week. My head was beginning to complain." He tried for a small smile. "I didn't want to pull down the mood, so I just left." _

"_You should have said something," Sirius said, pulling a chair over and sitting next to Remus. "Someone could have come with you." _

"_Believe it or not, Sirius, I don't actually need a keeper." _

"_I didn't mean it like that, Moony. Just… we don't want you to feel left out." _

"_I don't, honestly. And everyone was having so much fun." _

"_Not after you left." _

"_Really? So James has stopped snogging Lily long enough to notice I'm missing?" _

_A smile pulled at Sirius' mouth. "Well, no," he admitted. "But I wasn't having so much fun." _

"_Really? You'd prefer my company to butterbeer, good food, Christmas cheer and the soon-to-be-let-off fireworks?" _

_Remus was expecting a joking reply, but instead he got a small smile. "Of course." _

_Remus had nothing to say to that. _

"_You know," Sirius said after a while, "the ceiling is covered with mistletoe." _

"_Looks like some sixth-years let their spells get away from them," Remus said, after looking up to confirm that the ceiling was indeed covered with a thick layer of the spikey plant. _

"_We're sitting underneath it."_

"_We can't really _not_, Sirius. It covers the entire classroom." _

"_You know what you're supposed to do under mistletoe, right?"_

_Remus suddenly became aware how close Sirius was. "Yeah," he said carefully. "But we're both blokes. And you're straight." _

"_That's what you think." _

"_What?" Remus asked, surprised. But instead of answering, Sirius leaned forwards and pressed his lips to the werewolf's. _

* * *

><p>Remus smiled at his mistletoe sprig, lost in memories of times long gone. After Hogwarts, his Christmases hadn't been the same. The war made them adults too soon, and distrust brewed distance between them. Then James and Lily had been killed, and Remus had been on the streets, alone, for eleven Christmases ever since.<p>

Little did he know that, after this year, he'd never spend another Christmas on his own again.


	3. Angel

**Title: Angel  
>Based off: Chapter Fifty of <em>Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem<em>  
>Rating: K<br>Word Count: 394  
>Beta: chronicxxinsanity<br>Authors Note: This ficlet was requested by FlyingPigMonkey.**

"Line up, line up," Professor Crumpleburn said to his twenty-or-so delinquents as he attempted to herd them into some sort of order. "You! Davies! Get back here."

The poor professor looked suitably stressed from the momentous task he'd been assigned, but Sirius felt no sympathy for him. He only hoped he was regretting his 'genius idea'

"Right, here's your timetables and your outfits," he said in a flustered manner as he pushed a piece of paper and a pile of cloth at each student individually. "If you show up late to a session, you have to do twice the amount of time. If you don't show at all, you have to do twice the amount of sessions. Potter, Black; you two are first, seeing as you two have the most detentions of anyone in the school. Put on the clothes."

James groaned as struggled to put a white dress on over the top of his school robes. "How did Moony and Wormtail get out of this?" he complained to Sirius.

"They're better at not getting caught," Sirius said dejectedly. "And besides, they can hardly put a prefect up there."

"Ready, boys?" Professor Crumpleburn asked. "No? Very good." He waved his wand and, when Sirius looked at James, he saw that a golden ring had appeared over the other boy's head. Then, without any warning at all, Sirius felt himself being levitated up.

He grinned and flapped his arms. "Look, James, I'm flying!"

James laughed, and then winced as he was placed none-too-gently on the top of the tree. "Careful down there!" he called.

"There's quite a view up here, Prongsie," Sirius said. "Hey, look! I can see Remus and Pete!"

The other two Marauders had just entered the hall, and were currently bent double as they clutched their stomachs while howling with laughter. Sirius scowled. "Traitors."

Five minutes passed and everyone filed into the hall for lunch. There was brief amusement at first as Sirius and James struck poses, but soon everyone forgot about the pair in favour of the delicious food (that was getting more and more extravagant as Christmas approached).

Finally, James uttered the three words that had never, ever been followed by anything good. "Padfoot, I'm bored."

Sirius thought about this predicament for a moment, and then smirked. "Ya know, Prongs, Crumples down there forgot to take our wands off us…."


	4. Snow Fights

**Title: Snow Fights  
>Based off: Chapter Fifty One of <em>Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem<em>  
>Rating: K<br>Word Count: 640  
>Beta: The brilliant chronicxxinsanity<br>Authors Note: This ficlet was requested by deadbattery88.**

"You know, Sirius, I think this may be getting a little out of hand," Remus muttered under his breath as the pair surveyed their 'troops' in the dim light of the morning. "I don't think it's such a good idea to get first years involved. I mean, they can't really do much magic to defend themselves, can they?"

Day had yet to break and all that could be seen of their small army was some faint grey outlines. Remus knew there were a lot of them there, though, and that worried him. The scale of this was just so huge.

"Of course not, Moony. They're cannon-fodder."

"Come again?"

"They're like the pawns in chess. We can use them to distract the enemy. And as sacrifices if our better spell-casters get cornered."

"I don't know that we should, Sirius. They could get hurt. There's a ten-foot walking wall of snow out there!"

"Don't worry, James and Pete wouldn't let anyone get too badly hurt. And we've got Lily refereeing."

Remus had to admit that that was true. He felt a lot better knowing that Lily was going to be keeping an eye out for any stray first years. After the amount of people they'd sent to the hospital wing last year, Remus knew that _something_ had to be done to prevent so many injuries.

Sirius turned to the crowd of Gryffindors (and some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs) milling about in the snow in front of them. "Alright then everyone," Sirius announced loudly. "You've all been briefed on your tasks. You captains are McMillan, Burnes, and Agnos." He gestured to the three seventh-years standing off to one side. "You take your orders from them. Does anyone not know who their captains are?"

No one stirred.

"Good. Now I know some of you have friends on the other side, but know this: between now and sunset, they are not your friends. They are your enemies, and if we want to win, we must annihilate them!"

By the end of the sentence he was shouting, and his last word was met with the cheers of about a hundred and fifty students. Sirius tried to add "But don't seriously injure anyone!" at the end, but he was drowned out by the sounds of the crowd.

Remus pointed his wand at Sirius' throat and muttered _"Sonorous_". Sirius cleared his throat and the sound echoed around their 'campsite'.

"Right. McMillan's troops are in charge of building the fort. Burnes, you're leading your troops into enemy territory and launching a frontal assault on their stronghold. And Agnos," Sirius turned sombrely to a pretty girl who was wearing nothing but pants and a thin cotton t-shirt. Remus felt cold just looking at her. "We've heard rumours of an army of enchanted snowmen. We'll be creating our own to fight them, but in the meantime I need you to hunt them down and hold them off."

She nodded without smiling, as though it honestly was a matter of life or death, and raised her hand above her head. Silently, her squadron moved to surround her, where she addressed them in low voices.

"Troops!" Sirius called to everyone. "Move out! Seventh-spellcasters, to me! Let's get this avalanche moving!"

Remus sighed wearily as he watched Sirius leading a bunch of students towards a pre-prepared pile of snow. This was going to be a long day, and he couldn't waste time standing around. He had an army of snowmen to enchant.

* * *

><p>Up on the seventh floor, the first ray of the sun spilt into the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey, who was tending to an unconscious third year, tutted as she heard the sound of a war horn. "Oh dear," she said, to her patient, "it seems to be that time again. I'd better make up extra beds. I think we're going to need them."<p> 


	5. Dear Diary

**Title: Dear Diary  
>Based off: Chapter Five of <strong>_**Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem**_**. Sort of.****  
>Rating: T+<br>Word Count: 626  
>Beta: ChronicxxInsanity<br>Authors Note: Requested by FlyingPigMonkey, although I used a bit of creative licensing here. **

_Dear Diary_

_I've been able to blame Sirius for a lot of mad things that I've done in my life, but I think that this is the weirdest yet. I'm starting a diary, and it's because of Sirius Black. _

_I'm writing in here because I CANNOT sleep. 'Why can't you sleep?' you may ask. Well, you wouldn't, because you're a book, and you can't talk. But the question still remains as to why I'm plagued with insomnia._

_It's because Sirius Black won't stop shagging our dear Moony. And would you like to know why I say 'Sirius is shagging Moony' and not the other way around? Because I can BLOODY HEAR THEM! Every moan they make, every… urgh, I can't even write down some of the indecent noises that are coming from behind their closed curtains. Of course, Sirius has never done anything quietly in his life, so why should having sex be any different?_

_I don't know how Pete can sleep through the noise. It's going to drive me up the wall. _

_They've finally stopped. Maybe I can get some sleep._

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary<em>

_I got told today by four different people that I looked like a walking zombie. I checked in the mirror, and they were RIGHT. _

_I repeat, it's Sirius' fault. I did get some sleep last night after Sirius had finished deflowering our poor Moonikins, but after only about a hour I was wide awake again, and traumatised by my dream, in which Sirius was chasing me around with a muggle alarm clock telling me that the device was actually Moony in disguise and I would have to kiss him otherwise it would run out of time and make a loud noise that would wake up McGonagall. _

_And now, as I'm sitting in my nice, comfortable bed, I'm forced once more to listen to the sound of Remus and Sirius shagging!_

_This can't go on. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary<em>

_They're at it again. _

_I've made a resolution to go to the library tomorrow (shocking, I know!) and get out a book on silencing charms. I will then throw this book at Sirius' stupid head in the hopes that some of its knowledge might get through that thick skull. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary, <em>

_Sirius is a dick. _

_Last night, after I'd written in here, I gave up trying to sleep and took my pillow and teddy bear (don't laugh) down to the spare bed in the first year's dormitory. I had the best sleep I'd had in a long time, and not even the fact that I was woken up by a bunch of eleven-year-olds throwing Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and seeing who'd be the first to get one in my mouth did not spoil it. _

_(Who do they think they are? I could have choked! I'm the Head Boy! They might have killed the Head Boy! I should give them all detentions.)_

_At lunchtime, I went to the library and found a heavy tome on silencing charms. I even handed it nicely to Padfoot, rather than hitting him over the head with it like I'd intended to. _

_He threw it at me! Hard! It hit me on the head and gave me a concussion!_

_I hope the bed breaks when he's bouncing around on it with Moony tonight. I really do. _

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary, <em>

_I know I haven't written in you for several days now, and after this entry I'd like to hope that I never will again. I've been too busy to write in here – too busy sleeping. Because I finally decided to take a stand and give the book to Moony, along with a not-so-subtle hint that I can hear every "ohh, harder" he says and every moan of pleasure that emerges from his mouth. _

_And for the last four days, it has been blissfully silent in Sirius' bed._

_Although I do have to ask myself, '_Why didn't I think of that earlier?'


	6. Secrets

**Title: Secrets  
>Based off: Chapter Fifty Five of <strong>_**Marauders, Mischief and Mayhem**_**  
>Rating: T<br>Word Count:  
>Beta: The amazing chronicxxinsanity<br>A/N: I'd just like to say that I never really intended to expand on this, although more than one person asked me to previously. I thought that I it was perhaps something that should either be left as it is, or incorporated in a larger story, or should be left as it is. But I did ask for requests, and both ****FlyingPigMonkey**** and ****deadbattery88**** picked this drabble for me to expand upon. So here it is. **

xXx

Peter had heard someone say once that secrets weighed down upon a person's soul until they were snowed under with the truths they knew. He couldn't imagine what that must feel like, but not because he didn't know any secrets.

Secrets to him were like adrenaline to his friends. When they were running breathlessly through corridors with teachers hot on his heels, his friends looked more alive than they did even when they were masterfully pranking people. In those moments, Peter usually felt little but a dull sense of panic, combined with the feeling of inclusion that his friends had thought to ask him to join them on their escapade.

However, while he watched his friends secrets weigh them down, making them withdrawn or stressed or false to each other, Peter kept them close to his heart like they were precious memories or a possession of sentimental value.

A secret was an amazing thing to own. It only ever belonged to so few people; the confider and the confidante, sometimes not even them. Pete's own secrets mostly belonged to him and only him, and he knew many facts that no one had told him; that he'd merely figured it out. He was cleverer than most in that respect, but no one ever knew.


End file.
